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November 26 抹車的啟示自從買了白色車後，我不時有自行抹車的衝動。過往開銀色車，數年不洗也沒有問題，污垢並不易察覺得到。我往往可以等到極級骯髒（例如有一大片雀糞在玻璃上）才洗。決定買白色車時已知道「不耐髒」會是問題，但實在被珍珠白色吸引，從此放棄方便懶人的銀色。 今天晚上實在忍不住我laughing gor身上的污垢，花了超過半小時用濕布洗抹，以回復它的「神采」。抹著抹著，又再次想起到底選白色是選對了嗎？我認為是對的。 不論選什麼顏色，汽車開在路上必會蓬頭垢面，沾上各式灰塵及昆蟲屍體（以我此等每天在公路上飛馳兩小時的人尤甚）。即使車身顏色耐髒，實際上一樣骯髒。作為車主的我大可裝作不骯髒，照開可也，但每次開車門觸及門把或一不留神外衣擦著車門，污垢無所頓形。 這讓我想到，很多人覺得基督徒虛偽，一些小事都被看成罪，動輒便叫人認罪悔改。其實活在基督內，就像開一輛白色車一樣，缺點、陋習、劣根性一一變得顯眼。這是因為藉著天主，我們重見光明，以往看不見的現在通通都現形了。當然，若我們了解到自己的不是，便有責任去改善，將這些污垢盡力清除，這是以往不需要的。雖然是多了一重責任，但我也慶幸得以重見光明。 想到這裡，我抹車抹得更起勁，差點不想停下來。 September 02 包袱？今晚在駕車回家途中，我在想，同樣的一個我，若卸下了包袱，又會是怎樣的一個人？ 我也不明白為何我的肩膀總是這麼沉重。也許我背上的不是真的包袱，只是在我的負面思想中，它們就像驅不散的烏雲，總在我的上空徘徊。 這也解釋了為我總是"豁不出去"，有這麼多東西在我身上，何以瀟灑得起？ August 26 ObedienceI was lucky enough to be in a conversation with Jessica and Sr. Monica the night before. Listening to them makes me understand a little more what being obedient to God is all about.
When Jesus says, "Follow me", He means it. However, many of us choose to interpret it with whatever way we want. There are always certain areas in our lives that we want to keep for ourselves. We have our own plans that we would like to stick to. Very few of us can really let go when it comes to following Jesus.
When I was listening to Jessica and Sr. Monica, the greatest commandment came to my mind: YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND (by the way, I somehow thought this is the 3rd commandment out of the 10 commandments, but Jesus referred it to the GREATEST commandment in Matt 22).
I guess I have never truly "loved" God. I don't think I've ever love Him with ALL my heard, ALL my soul and ALL my mind. I don't think I've given my ALL to Him.
I still have a long way to go for attaining my reward in heaven. August 24 Unconditional LoveDear God,
Thanks for Your unconditional love. We cannot ask for anything greater than that.
Thanks for loving those who are not loveable by human standards, those who do not look appealing, those who have mental problems, those who sin often, those who bring troubles to others, those who cannot control their temper, those who are selfish...
No one should ever feel hopeless, because everyone is loved by YOU. Please help us to remind ourselves of Your love. Please never let the evil one to deceive us when we are weak.
May Your name be praised forever.
Amen. July 26 MultiplicationToday's gospel talks about the "5 loaves 2 fish" (John 6:1-15) miracle again. For some reason, everytime I read about that, I'd get some new insights out of it. The lesson this time is that, in order for Jesus to multiply, we must overcome our sense of inadequacy and give out the tiny bits that we are able to offer. Being generous is more than just the willingness to give, it also means having faith in Jesus, that He can turn our tiny offerings into something we could never have imagined. And that only by giving freely, we can receive in abundance. If I keep wondering why He doesn't give me certain things (thus putting the focus on myself and forget the needs of others), I'd never receive from Jesus. Another insight is from St. Paul's letter to the Ephesians (Eph 4:1-6). St. Paul urged in his letters over and over again, asking us to "live in a manner worthy of the call you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love, striving to preserve the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace". When we read the Bible, it's too easy to just read the passage, thinking about it for a few minutes, and put it on the back of our minds. This is precisely what Jesus talks about in His parable of the sower (Mt 13:18-23). Basically I have been hearing the word and forget/ignore/not understand it. When it comes to living out the virtues as mentioned by St. Paul, I have failed miserably. Lord, please help me, for I don't know how to help myself. June 11 悶 數天前在明周看到一篇漫畫，作者說大部份人生來都是悶人，但大部份人都不喜歡跟悶人交朋友，於是大家唯有扮有趣（用上漫畫來表達，就是各人頭上都戴上了bunny頭箍）。我覺得她說得實在太對。 是人年紀大了，開始對種種事物都生厭，還是真的天生犯賤，連空閒時間都只會想還有幾多項目在todo list未辦妥？ 連自己也開始忍受不了自己的悶。 June 01 送別這兩天心頭總有被什麼壓著的感覺，是一股驅散不盡的悶氣...
這頭小狗自此離我們而去，我只能盼牠已到了更好的國度，和牠的同伴愉快的在一起。
人跟寵物建立的感情，在我未擁有Michael之前，是沒法了解的。這頭在我非自願地跟我活在同一屋簷下的小貓，不知從何時何刻，已成為了我生命中很重要的一部份。由最初完全陌生，到些少熟絡，到非常了解、十分愛鍚，就在不知不覺間發生了。
寵物的壽命總比人短，總有別離的一天。不幸已發生了，然而快樂的回憶仍在，牠也定必慶幸得到過寵愛，就讓感覺停留在溫馨的時光吧。
再見！要比從前更快樂，好嗎？ January 13 29 Reminders for ChristiansSaw this from CMC bulletin (from some online source): 1. Next time when you think you are terrific, try walking on water. December 10 一鼠一狗在雲端一鼠一狗在雲端 屈穎妍 2008年12月10日 明報副刊 這天清早，大女兒照例先到鐵籠前逗倉鼠，忽然發現，小的一隻一動不動側躺在地。 「死了，倉鼠死了！」大女兒四出報告這驚人「命案」。 像神探伽利略，更似鑑證科，三個孩子穿起手套圍在籠前檢驗屍首查察死因。 兩隻倉鼠，同困一「室」，一夜之間，死了其一，剩下活命的，嫌疑怎算都最大。 若法醫，左度右計，算屍身硬度，測死亡時間。提起鼠屍一看，發現屍身大半邊身凹陷，拿起旁邊只顧吃的疑犯量度，終於找出死因，原來小倉鼠是給肥同伴壓死的。 這陣子天氣轉冷，小倉鼠一睏便擠在一起睡，兩球毛頭，埋在一起分不出你我。 沒想到，鼠輩原來跟人一樣，大的和小的攬著一起睡，就搞出人命。 女兒為了嚴懲兇手，兩天不給牠吃的，還沒收籠內所有玩具。 朋友說怎麼你的孩子不悲傷，還可以冷靜判案細心尋兇。死了一隻寵物，正常反應，應該是哭個死去活來才對。 想起那年，養了十載的拉布拉多獵犬過世，她們都是如斯冷靜。 也是一覺醒來，已見大黃狗僵硬在地。孩子蹲下望著屍首，問了許多。 「人死了也是這樣子的嗎？」 「可以摸摸牠嗎？身體好硬啊！肚子不再動了。」平日黃狗都愛人家替牠掃背搔肚。 「牠到哪裡去了？」 「牠會不會記住我們？」 「天堂有沒有狗相陪？牠最憎貓的，希望路上不會碰到貓‥‥‥」 沒有呼天搶地的哭，不代表她們不愛戀那逝去的生命，從此，她們的畫中多了有翼的一狗一鼠在雲端。 October 29 稻香At some point I find all the songs by Jay are always the same. But I guess I like him because he is always the same The entire song is like this: A E F#m C#m Bm E A E 稻香 詞：周杰倫 Intro: A E F#m C#m Bm E A E x 2 (Just follow the beat!) 對這個世界如果你有太多的抱怨 還記得你說家是唯一的城堡 隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑 不要這麼容易就想放棄 所謂的那快樂 赤腳在田裡追蜻蜓追到累了 還記得你說家是唯一的城堡 隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑
October 28 為人父母也許我不會擁有自己的孩子，但為人父母的心情，今晚我倒略略嘗過了。
在回家的途中，聽到電台時事節目正在討論青少年沉迷電腦遊戲／上網的問題，有些家長致電發表意見，他們不少都語帶無奈，完全不知道該做什麼才能讓孩子不要繼續沉迷。
我今天晚上也無奈了一小時，我沒有孩子，但我有一隻
 ...事緣我忘了把一間房的房門關好，米高當然不會放棄"探險"的好機會，乘我不覺便潛入房間左"捐"右"捐"。沒多久，牠發現躲避我的最佳方法是愛理不理的留守在床下底。跟牠對峙了十數分鐘，牠慢慢邊行邊八卦床下底的各樣雜物，然後當牠快要走到床邊時，我一觸及牠的貓毛，牠便再次鑽進去。如是者發生了大概五次。
 那刻的感覺是─為人父母甚艱難。衰仔要是不聽教的話，又可以做些什麼？子女若是反叛，你能做些什麼去讓不成熟的他明白你的苦心？我不過是跟衰貓在捉迷藏，尚且感到mung憎，何況肩負教好子女重任的父母？
天下反叛青少年的父母，加油，不要氣餒，終有一天你的子女會明白你們的苦心。
October 10 一週大事回顧十月三日（星期五）
Waterfish聚會中有一個微型／無厘頭生日surprise。當晚我亦多了一個新名，我成為了Rosabunny
 。(靈感來自近期人氣爆澎的Angelababy。)十月四日（星期六）
參加了充實的FLL retreat，但在lunch期間發生了輕微車禍，一位街坊的車輛煞制不及從後面撞來
 。心情沒受影響，晚上跟家人到了最愛的美心据扒。十月五日（星期日）
生日慶祝包括打迷你麻雀，玩Settlers及台灣製大富翁。今年收到的禮物頗為神奇，有頸巾、畫家帽、神秘不良牛禮物預告、貓手dup dup棍及CN Tower climb sponsorship。大家真有我心
 。本打算到另一至愛Mumz吃飯，卻發現它竟悄悄結業了 。十月六日（星期一）
休假一天。跟媽媽去了吃竹筒菜飯+天仁下午茶。
買了一個正常譜架+時興的塞得好入的headphones。
回家玩了一會wii fit，驚喜是那塊板是會替你"賀壽"的。
十月七日（星期二）
車禍的後遺症開始發作，肩膀開始感到痠痛...
晚上到了改革後的"dance troop"（不再是class了），（幸好原來沒有dance
 ）整晚的重頭戲是學sign language！雖然我的手不太協調，但覺得這是很有趣的語言，動作跟要表達的意思很貼切，例如decay的那個動作，在我看來就正是表達"化為烏有"這個意思。十月八日（星期三） 看到有人出售我已想買了很久的50mm窮人之寶，聯絡到賣方交易。交易順利但讓我有些驚
。十月九日（星期四）
由於肩痛關係，可能要做物理治療，終於跟爸爸去了報案。到了報案中心才發覺原來意外牽涉"受傷"（小兒科如我般被chork了一下），要到另一警局報案。到了那裡，不能馬上落案，他們要召一位警員到來才能落案
。警員到後，談了數分鐘，以為搞掂，怎料他拿了資料進去，30+分鐘後才出來，原來他要致電那位司機，核實細節。前後花了差不多2.5小時才回到公司。Oh baby...多麼充實的一週，老了一歲，增廣了見聞，不錯不錯。
September 22 寸Today's (or yesterday's... since it's 1:13am now) gospel is the parable of landowner hiring labourers for his vineyard (Mt 20:1-16). We had a discussion at WCCC2 on Saturday night. We spent quite a bit of time to discuss whether this "makes sense" or not, like whether this can be applied in our daily lives. Some of us have trouble with settling for the "unfair" treatment. Even though the first batch of labourers had agreed with the landowner about their wage for the day, the fact that they had to work for so much longer than the latest batch and still received the same amount seems absurd to most of us. In 20:15, the response from the landowner triggers uneasiness among us.
During mass, there is a message that struck me. The feeling of unfairness is based on the assumption that the first batch deserves *more* than the last batch. But this landowner thinks the last batch deserves the BEST too. If what the landowner gives out is the BEST, there is no way for the first batch to deserves more than the best, since they too receive the best.
Fr. Wan stressed a few times in his homily that God's generosity is beyond our imagination. And that is exactly what puzzles us. We're puzzled because in our own minds, we put a limit to God's mercy. And at the same time, our original sin kicks in to make us think the late comers should receive less than we do. It's as if we forget that without God's mercy to us in the first place, we wouldn't be who we are today. We'd still be in big deep trouble, like those who struggle to get hired in the parable.
Thanks God for being 寸 to us. We need your 寸ness to remind us how badly we need to rid ourselves of our selfishness. August 13 EnlightenedTonight, I've identified one aspect of my personality that needs to be urgently worked on -> to be more assertive.
 Found 2 excellent articles online:
I don't recall I had any plans to consciously overcoming my weaknesses in the past. I was always seeking to master some sort of technical skills or acquiring knowledge in different fields. I guess I've finally come to a point that makes me realize just how important these soft skills are. Lots to learn but at least now I admit I REALLY need to work on them. (*Giving myself a pat on the back*) July 28 Henri Nouwen / One Bread One BodyThe recent entries from Henri Nouwen's daily meditation have been very inspiring for me. They hit me right on. You can subscribe to these daily meditations here (http://www.henrinouwen.org/home/free_eletters/)
Daily Meditation for July 24, 2008
Overcoming Our Mood Swings
Are we condemned to be passive victims of our moods? Must we simply say: "I feel great today" or "I feel awful today," and require others to live with our moods?
Although it is very hard to control our moods, we can gradually overcome them by living a well-disciplined spiritual life. This can prevent us from acting out of our moods. We might not "feel" like getting up in the morning because we "feel" that life is not worth living, that nobody loves us, and that our work is boring. But if we get up anyhow, to spend some time reading the Gospels, praying the Psalms, and thanking God for a new day, our moods may lose their power over us.
Daily Meditation for July 25, 200 Digging Into Our Spiritual Resources When someone hurts us, offends us, ignores us, or rejects us, a deep inner protest emerges. It can be rage or depression, desire to take revenge or an impulse to harm ourselves. We can feel a deep urge to wound those who have wounded us or to withdraw in a suicidal mood of self-rejection. Although these extreme reactions might seem exceptional, they are never far away from our hearts. During the long nights we often find ourselves brooding about words and actions we might have used in response to what others have said or done to us. It is precisely here that we have to dig deep into our spiritual resources and find the center within us, the center that lies beyond our need to hurt others or ourselves, where we are free to forgive and love. Daily Meditation for July 26, 2008
The Dynamics of the Spiritual Life Our emotional lives and our spiritual lives have different dynamics. The ups and downs of our emotional life depend a great deal on our past or present surroundings. We are happy, sad, angry, bored, excited, depressed, loving, caring, hateful, or vengeful because of what happened long ago or what is happening now.
The ups and downs of our spiritual lives depend on our obedience - that is, our attentive listening - to the movements of the Spirit of God within us. Without this listening our spiritual life eventually becomes subject to the windswept waves of our emotions.
Daily Meditation for July 27, 2008
A Window on Our Spiritual Lives
Even though our emotional and spiritual lives are distinct, they do influence one another profoundly. Our feelings often give us a window on our spiritual journeys. When we cannot let go of jealousy, we may wonder if we are in touch with the Spirit in us that cries out "Abba." When we feel very peaceful and "centered," we may come to realise that this is a sign of our deep awareness of our belovedness.
Likewise our prayer lives, lived as faithful response to the presence of the Spirit within us, may open a window on our emotions, feelings, and passions and give us some indication of how to put them into the service of our long journey into the heart of God.
Another excellent reflection that I got from another email list One Bread One Body (http://www.presentationministries.com/obob/obob.asp):
Sunday, July 27, 2008, 17th Sunday Ordinary Time
1 Kings 3:5, 7-12, Romans 8:28-30, Psalm 119:57, 72, 76-77, 127-130, Matthew 13:44-52
Link to Readings --> http://www.usccb.org/nab/readings/072708.shtml FEELING INADEQUATE?
"I am a mere youth, not knowing at all how to act." —1 Kings 3:7
Do you feel inadequate? Maybe you don't have the slightest idea how you should act in a certain situation or in most situations. Like Solomon, ask the Lord for an understanding heart (1 Kgs 3:9). The Lord will make you more than adequate.
Some of you feel it's too late. Your life is already in shambles. You've been abused, broken, and shattered. However, the Lord promises to make "all things work together for the good of those who love" Him (Rm 8:28). Give your brokenness to Jesus, and He will use it as raw material for a miracle. In Him, you can do all things (see Phil 4:13).
You may feel that your resources, education, energy, etc. are inadequate. Nevertheless, the Lord tells you that you can purchase the most precious treasure of all, that is, the kingdom of God. He has made it affordable for you. God's kingdom does not cost a certain amount but a certain percentage: 100% (Mt 13:44-46). You can purchase it but can't purchase anything else if you do.
You don't have to feel inadequate. In Christ, you have understanding, miracles, strength (Phil 4:13), hope (Col 1:27), energy (Col 1:29), joy (Jn 15:11), peace (Jn 16:33). In Christ, you have God's ingdom. You are more than adequate.
Prayer: Father, may I rejoice in my exalted position as Your child. Promise: "The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant's search for fine pearls. When he found one really valuable pearl, he went back and put up for sale all that he had and bought it." —Mt 13:45-46
Praise: Praise Jesus, "the Resurrection and the Life" (Jn 11:25), Whose name is exalted above the heavens! July 02 香芋奶茶今天在天仁喝了從未如此好喝的香芋奶茶，簡直令人驚喜！
不知從何時開始，某食品公司靈機一觸認定了芋頭應該是淺紫色的，以至所有人造的芋頭食品都變成了淺紫色。當我點香芋奶茶時，也期望得到一杯淺紫色的飲品。
茶過了很久才到，揭開壺蓋，看到茶是淺棕色的，嚐了一口，心頭一震：咦，這不就是真正的芋頭奶茶嗎？！(那一刻有如食神上身，哈哈。)茶比平時稠，看得出是用真芋頭磨出來的。
喝過了真正的香芋奶茶，我想以後也不會再到別處喝。謝謝天仁還我真正的香芋奶茶！繼913茶王後，又一佳品！ June 20 家個多月前在廣播道看到一輯四集的DVD，名叫《新聞話事‧人》。內容是電視新聞記者（毛孟靜、葉雅媛、陳立志、袁志偉、蘇凌峰、趙應春、方東昇）的訪問，由他們親述採訪經歷、感受，由伍晃榮主持。一直擱在一旁沒有看，今晚看了，非常非常好看，極力向大家推介!!!
伍晃榮真的是一位很好很好的主持，真的很懷念他。
 在看這節目時，很多在香港的回憶都回來了。當年的時事，距離自己很近，彷彿是昨天發生的事，原來大多發生在十多二十年前！(天啊！)
越南難民： 每天早上都在香港電台聽到向他們的呼籲...
六四民運： 龍的傳人在當時播得最盛，現在一聽見，感覺就像回到當時一樣
移民潮： 差些忘了當年香港人是多麼的瘋狂，原來連申請星加坡居留權的攤位也擠爆了！96年申請歸化英籍的人在維園大排長龍，甚至大打出手。
蘭桂坊元旦慘劇： 第一次知道原來在人多的地方會有人踩人的危險...我用了這新聞做中一中文專題報告。
96奧運破蛋： 記得當年為李麗珊在頒獎台上聽到英國國歌感到慶幸... (是的，我是漢奸)
97回歸： 印象最深的是肥彭與兩位彭小姐離開時的境象，他的女兒還含著淚光...
原來我對回歸前的香港是如此有歸屬感的，不禁令我想，如果中國不收回香港，而我一直留在香港，我的人生又會是什麼模樣？
June 17 巨型珍寶珠上個星期在我經常光顧的茶餐廳裡看到Show Mi演唱會，因為不想太早回到office，便留了在那裡看了三十分鐘。老闆娘見我遲遲捨不得走，第二天乾脆把DVD借給我回家看。(畢竟我幫襯了她超過兩年，這是熟客仔才有的服務！)
今天晚上終於看完，感受最深的是人必須鍛鍊自我，否則永遠都只會原地踏步。鄭秀文讀了那封寫給自己的超級長信，看得出她現在有的自信得來不易，是跟自我鬥爭一番後，堅持到底的成果。她在第二次encore出場時，一手拿著牛肉乾，一手拿著大得不能再大的珍寶珠。她說她已忍了兩個月，最後一場完了一定要吃完那些才心息。
鍛鍊的過程總是艱苦的，但若不經過這些苦，我們怎能在最後盡情享受那顆巨型珍寶珠?
June 06 The Last LectureThanks to Maria, I finally picked up this book and read.
I haven't finished reading it yet, but the parts that I read trigger some thoughts that I need to write down...
Randy talks about his experience of how his football coach trained him:
"There's a lot of talk these days about giving children self-esteem. It's not something you can give; it's something they have to build. Coach Graham worked in a no-coddling zone. Self-esteem? He knew there was really one way to teach kids how to develop it: You give them something they can't do, they work hard until they find they can do it, and you just keep repeating the process."
"When we send our kids to play organized sports--football, soccer, swimming, whatever--for most of us, it's not because we're desperate for them to learn the intricacies of the sport. What we really want them to learn is far more important: work, an ability to deal with adversity. This kind of indirect learning is what some of us like to call a 'head fake'."
"There are 2 kinds of head fakes. The first is literal. ... The second kind of head fake is the really important one--the one that teaches people things they don't realize they're learning until well into the process."
And he talks about the role of an educator:
"...educators best serve students by helping them be more self-reflective."
"I'd compare college tuition to paying for a personal trainer at an athletic club. We professors play the roles of trainers, giving people access to the equipment (books, labs, our expertise) and after that, it is our job to be demanding."
Somehow all these talks sound familiar to me. I am reminded of how God bas been training me.
-Tough lessons: having gone through them makes me feel confident of handling whatever that might come in the future, I think I now understand why there are so many things that cannot be given to us for free, they're supposed to be learned
-Indirect learning: when I thought I was working towards something very specific, it turns out I got more insights about something that I didn't intend to learn
-Self-reflective: I am not sure since when I've become what I am today... always thinking, always in reflection mode, and I think it should be a good thing
-Demanding: very true... it reminds me of when my dad tried to teach me swim when I was small, he always moved away from me when I ALMOST reached where he was.. I hated that so much and I found him to be very 玩o野... unfortunately, that is the only way for us to grow May 19 Amazing Victoria Day WeekendsThanks to Queen Elizabeth! I love Victoria Day! I just realize somehow God often chose Victoria Day weekends to heal me or help me see the gifts that I've been given.
 It happened once in 2002, and again in 2008!
To those who are curious, nothing very exciting happened during this weekend. But once again God helped me realize how lucky I've been... When I realized it's Victoria Day weekend that He did this again, I just have to thank for His thoughtfulness!! It's very sweet, thank you!
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